Thank you Karen Graffeo at Bittersweet Diabetes for hosting the 8th annual Diabetes Blog Week. Our community thanks you for making our voice stronger, introducing us to new sites and increasing our tribe’s strength of thriving with diabetes despite what diabetes throws at us. Today the following is the prompt for #DBlogWeek:
Having diabetes often makes a visit to the doctor a dreaded experience, as there is invariably bad news of one kind or another. And sometimes the way the doctor talks to you can leave you feeling like you’re at fault. Or maybe you have a fantastic healthcare team, but have experienced blame and judgement from someone else in your life – friend, loved one, complete stranger. Think about a particularly bad instance, how that person talked to you, the words they used and the conversation you had. Now, the game part. Let’s turn this around. If you could turn that person into a puppet, what would you have them say that would leave you feeling empowered and good about yourself? Let’s help teach people how to support us, rather than blame us! (Thank you, Brian, for inspiring this topic.)
Recently, I have had three different doctor assume and/or accused my diabetes of the culprit of a new symptom(s) I am experiencing without hearing the whole story or really listening to me. One doctor jump to the conclusion so fast and told me I needed to get a hold of my diabetes, and left the room without me having time to ask questions or inform him that my A1C was lower than the number that defines diabetes and has been for years. This was the same doctor who had never heard of a CGM. Which indicates to me, he is way behind in the technology and advancements in diabetes care has made in the past two decades.
Before I share with you what I would say to that particular doctor puppet (and have told some doctors who jump to the conclusion), I want you to realize no judgement on you and your care should impede your goals. If the medical team (or anybody else for that matter) judges you and cannot accept that it is not your fault, but rather the disease’s fault, that is their problem….not yours. Do you hear me? It is THEIR problem, NOT yours.
To the Doctor Who Judges Without Listening,
You sir, with all due respect, have no right to judge me nor my diabetes. I work hard at maintain a close to normal range. You have no idea of the work it takes, the due diligence it takes. You have no idea how much time I and my family takes to be sure I stay safe and have the latest technology to meet the goals I set to manage my diabetes to the best of my ability. You have no idea how much diabetes management has change. When I showed you my Dexcom, you even admitted you had never heard of it. You were amaze at the technology. That proves to me sir, your experience with type 1 diabetes is limited and way out of touched. You had no right to offend me like you did. You just lost not only my confidence in you as a doctor, you lost my trust.
Trust is essential in my care. And like I frequently tell my children when they were young. Trust is easily broken and hard to repair. I am not sure my trust with you can ever be mended because you like to leave the room once 15 minutes is up. I noticed the three times I saw you and your abrupt exit, not once but twice, even though I had a lot more questions. Yes, I am sorry to say, you have lost me as a customer of your care. It is a sad day for you and me. Because your judgement used my time and emotions more than it should.
I am proud of myself and the way I take care of my diabetes and I will never blame myself for what the disease bring my way. I know I can do a stellar job of “managing” my diabetes, and still have horrific consequences. I know in my heart, it was not me, it was the disease. I deserve better than to be judge, and I do not appreciate the judgement call you made of me. You don’t know me, but yet I know you. You are quick to judge something you know nothing about, and I do not have time for people who cannot listen and keep an open mind. So Bless Your Heart and Good Day Sir, I wish you well. I shall seek care from others who want to part of my team. People who want to help me to be the best me and who will help me attain my goals to the best of my ability.
As I leave, I shall whisper under my breath….Bless Your Heart Indeed.